her vagine was all disorganized.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
