This girl is more easily done than said...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
