The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He? As in you personified your dick?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
