i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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