Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
