i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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