So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
