Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
