This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
