Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
