i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
