Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
