Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
