i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
