They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
