Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
