Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
