I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
