'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
