Already got asked if we're dating
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
