So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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