if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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