He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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