I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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