Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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