i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
