Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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