This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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