The maid of honor just puked.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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