I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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