I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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