Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
