KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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