I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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