Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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