why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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