he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
