i wish starbucks made bloody marys
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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