just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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