yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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