They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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