Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
