in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
