her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Blood and glitter go together right?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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