why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
