My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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