I think i peed on brittanys purse
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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