I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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