his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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