I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
