I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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