i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I bet he comes in French.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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