Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
